Ep. 89 | Hospitality Makes You A Better Leader

What if the most powerful ministry you lead starts at your table and not your calendar? Today, we explore the biblical heartbeat of hospitality and connect it to real stories from around the world where unhurried welcome turned strangers into family. 

We get practical about leading with a sacred pace in a culture addicted to speed. You’ll hear how a humble espresso machine became a discipleship tool, why margin is a spiritual discipline, and how to discern when an interruption is actually the plan. 

We lay out concrete steps leaders can take to build a culture of welcome: protect margin, create a simple “door” into relationship, teach teams that not every interruption is a distraction, and institutionalize hospitality with rhythms of prayer and open invitations. 

Whether you’re serving in a church or the marketplace, these practices make evangelism and discipleship relational again.

Ready to make space for transformation? Let’s practice radical hospitality together.

Transcript

Framing Radical Hospitality

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today I'm excited. We're going to have a great conversation really centered around the biblical theme of hospitality. We're going to share some stories, share some examples from our own time, experiencing hospitality from really the global body of Christ. We're also going to look at a couple of biblical examples and then really some practical practices that you and I can step into as leaders to help us live lives of Christ-like hospitality that brings transformation not only in our own lives, but in the lives of the people we lead. Let's jump into today's conversation. You know, Norval, I'm so excited to be here with you again. I've had a little bit of travel. I've got a little bit coming up. I know you've had a little bit of travel this year. And one of the uh just kind of fun parts is really meeting and spending some time with other people uh in the body of Christ around the world.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

It's probably one of the best, if not the best, thing about equipping leaders uh globally is that you get to meet people globally. And uh and I've been all over the place, and people are so hospitable.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Oh my goodness, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

They they love on us, um, they overwhelm us with their love. Yeah. Um they give us gifts which often don't fit in our bags when we come back. So true. Um they take us to the best restaurants in their in their city, and it's just amazing how hospitality is it's part of every culture, obviously, but but but some cultures are are experts at it.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Well, and I think what's been so encouraging to me as a as a believer experiencing that is seeing how hospitality really it's it's a there's so many cultures that practice it, and the the the Christian expressions of those cultures have such a bonding and heart that helps that to be uh really a transformational experience.

Global Stories Of Being Welcomed

SPEAKER_00 2:03

It's true. You walk into a country for the first time and you meet somebody that you either know them from emails and and maybe video calls, or you really have never seen them because they are they've been delegated the job to pick you up at the airport, but there's that immediate trust. And like we said, hospitality is part of of every culture, obviously. But the Bible and the Christian faith has this idea of this radical hospitality.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I mean, absolutely. And and and I think, you know, Norval, I'd love to hear from you. I know you did a little bit of of just preparation for this. It's not just something that's true in some parts of the Bible. It it seems to be a consistent thread.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yeah. It's a it's a thread throughout the Bible. Um, Leviticus chapter 13, verse 1934 specifically says, and that's the law. Yeah. So the law of Moses says the foreigner residing amongst you must be treated as your native born. Love them as yourself. Wait, that sounds familiar to me. It's interesting. Well, but it's interesting because you got them the second commandment repeated here towards the stranger. That's right. So now you are not a stranger. We're not strangers when we come in. We don't know them, but we know we know each other, at least who we are.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

And even when they have a sign with our names, they know who we are.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

But here it's talking, the Bible is talking about a stranger. And there's a beautiful verse in the book of Job. In the middle of book Job, he gives that big discourse. Yeah. In Job 31, uh 32, Job says, No stranger had to spend the night in the street, for Mardor was always open to the traveler. Wow. What a beautiful statement of hospitality.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

I mean, I think that's I mean, that's a transformational statement. And and I know there's a lot going on in Job's life in this moment, right? Like he's he's having a whole conversation with God, but but he's trying to present God, this is your heart. And so I'm sharing this about my actions because I know you would say that this is okay, this is a good thing.

Hospitality Across Scripture

SPEAKER_00 4:20

This is me. This will have will, these are things that count on your approval. Right. And he would he's actually asking God, why is all of this happening to me? But I digress. Yeah. The prophet Isaiah, there's a text in the prophet Isaiah when God is speaking to the people, criticizing them, because they do all these fasts and all these practices, but their heart is not transformed. They're they're they're they're not doing justice. Yeah. And then God says that the true, it is it not, it says the true fast, is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer, again, stranger, with a shelter. So the essence, God is saying the essence of your faith is providing hospitality. And then, of course, in the New Testament, Jesus, we know the famous uh text in Matthew 25 when Jesus talks about the end, and when he says, I was hungry and you fed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was a stranger and you welcomed me in. That's right. So uh that's a statement of hospitality as a condition for entering the kingdom.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

I mean, hospitality. An incredible, an incredible, and I'm glad you brought that up because it it's it's a statement on, again, a hot a heart posture, right? A part of our heart that expresses, and I think that's some of that continuing thread uh from Isaiah, where God's God's saying, look, that the kind of welcome that you've been offered in relationship with me is one that should cause you to be welcoming to those who would otherwise be strangers and outsiders, unwelcome in other contexts.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

We are strangers, uh, after all, yeah. Um, being Gentiles and being lost, who are welcomed into the family of Abraham, into the family of God. That's right. As adopted sons and daughters who call God Abba, but that's that's in uh Romans. So that was Jesus. Paul, there are several texts in this, the the letters of Paul about hospitality, but one of them is Romans 12, 13. Share with the Lord's people in peace, practice hospitality. I mean it's very specific, practice hospitality. Well, then Peter, Peter in his letter says, offer hospitality without one another, without grumbling. I guess we can do it out of obligation. Well, you know, I have to do it. But Peter says, do it gladly. And then John in his third letter says, command believers for welcoming and supporting fellow workers in the faith. So we hear from Jesus, we hear from Paul, Peter, and John. Um it's pretty clear that hospitality is an important commandment in the Bible for us.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Well, and I think, I mean, even when I think through the history of the church, the early church, right? When I look at Acts, you look at each of these moments where people come to faith, right? Where they encounter the story of the gospel, they come to faith, and they invite the the teller of that story into the home to celebrate, to share a meal, to express fellowship and hospitality. And I think in the life of a Christian leader, um, man, that that's part of our our leadership, that's part of our life. And and when we live those things out, it is really an ongoing example of the gospel. And that's what I felt when I was there in South Asia with our with our dear friends.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Right. On the receiving end of it, and I want to throw an interesting uh question out uh for you, and so we can talk about it because um in uh this wasn't on our notes, by the way. So when you talked about welcoming somebody into your home in a biblical context, and gosh, maybe even 50 or 100 years ago. So you bring somebody into home into your home for a meal, that means you're gonna go catch the chicken, kill the bird, feather it, clean it up, cook it. If you if it's gonna be if it's a bread-based meal, you might have to go and bake the bread. So we're talking about hospitality as long events. Yeah. Well, we invite people for coffee, you know, for a 20-minute coffee. Now, I've been to some parts of the world where a meal is gonna last you three hours. Even if they're not cooked, that's because you just sit down and you talk and you meal. But you know, in in our accelerated world, yeah, how do we how do we do that? Because we've talked about the wonders of of receiving hospitality. We talked about how the Bible tells us to extend hospitality. How do we do it? You know, how how do we ex do we somehow extend that time? Or how how do we make the best of our short time to express hospitality?

From Outsiders To God’s Family

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Well, I I mean, I'll be honest, Snorval, I there's there's lots of ideas that come to mind, but I think the biggest and honestly most convicting is as I look at how our brothers and sisters practice hospitality in other parts of the world, they're practicing the the the call to hospitality because there's not a call to hurry. Right? The commandments don't include a call to to hurry and rush and and and you know uh you know that kind of anxiety-driven uh addiction we have to to being busy. Sounds like the Mary and Martha story. It it very much is the Mary and Martha story. The most the most uh hospitable moments I've experienced as a recipient have been moments where I explicitly didn't feel a sense of hurry. And it's not that the moments always have to be long, but that that there isn't a sense of deadline or delivery because the hospitality itself is what's being delivered. Like that is the gift that's been extended, not a means to the gift that's being extended. Um, and as I think about how how do we do that in our culture, in our context, particularly in a uh in the West or in a post-Christian context, um, I really think we uh we do it first by being people who who live and practice a more sacred pace to life with the margin necessary. And I think first of all, that uh that kind of behavior and attitude writ large produces a context where people can feel sincerely welcomed, right? If if somebody comes over to my home and the in my and I know that I've got somewhere to be and some of these other things going on, um, I can't, I'm not in a position to to regularly practice welcome and hospitality. Uh, well then they're gonna they're gonna be able to sense my sense of rush or my sense of you know drive to get this conversation done so that you can kind of go on. Um but uh but but we we can value those conversations and those moments more. Uh and we can we can try and live with a bit of a bit of space for that uh by not booking ourselves one thing after the other, but by building in uh a little bit of that margin.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Building out that extent extended time. Yeah. And and I know it that has also application in our sharing of of the Christian of our faith in the gospel, in reaching those who are not. And for that conversation, I want you to tell us the story of of your uh Breville um espresso machine.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah, uh, when you come to the house, you can have a coffee whenever you want. Just just come. Uh, it's very common, uh, you know, this uh it's very common in the States for people to drink coffee, drinking coffee constantly. And so these two young women would come over uh and we would have this machine ready for them to just make another coffee. But that coffee opened the door for so many gospel conversations. Uh, and that's really what we began to find as a real transformation for us and for these young women.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

So a coffee machine or an espresso or a latte becomes a tool for discipleship.

Slowing Down To Truly Welcome

SPEAKER_01 13:09

That's right. Well, because again, we would sit there, they'd come in, they'd have the cup of coffee, we'd sit for, you know, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, which would turn into an hour or an hour and a half, depending. And again, that was a period of time where we had the space, we had the time. Uh, but we have since still found that there are so many conversations we're able to have where people feel welcomed and and and welcomed into our home and life and family because they're able to just sit and join us for something as simple as a cup of coffee or a cup of tea.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Right. That is that is um that is such a blessing to be able to offer that because the essence of of evangelism and discipleship is relationships. And uh, and somebody I I think we've heard somebody say that you know the the difference between a stranger and a friend is trust or something to that tone. Yeah. And and it's it's that time together that builds trust and that hospitality, that welcoming heart, with or without an espresso machine, that that will bring people in into our world, so that then we can take Jesus into their world.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

How about that?

SPEAKER_01 14:30

And and you know, uh, I heard someone say a long time ago, uh, you know, you you'd be surprised how much how much more you'll you'll see the the personal impact of hospitality uh when you're living with the margin to be hospitable to others, right? So maybe it does mean having that coffee or tea available. Maybe it means, hey, instead of just cooking for four, I'm gonna cook for a fifth in case there is one other person. If no one comes, that's okay. I just have it for lunch tomorrow. Um, and you know, I've I've lived in times where I, gosh, I'll be honest, I didn't have the margin for that, but I got phone calls from other people who welcomed me in. And that actually was how our family made it through those hard moments, uh, particularly when Casey and I were first married. Uh, plenty of people that would just say, Hey, uh, we're cooking dinner. You guys want to come over? And man, a blessed phone call for us because we needed that. That we were we were in a context to need that. Um, that kind of hospitality, again, I really think it's just such a practical expression of the gospel in our daily life. Because we we were strangers. I mean, Paul describes us as enemies to God, and yet he welcomes us in because of what Christ has already accomplished. Um, and and that that good work manifesting itself as us being a part of his family. Um I think that's that's why it's such an important message uh in a world today that that has lost some of that, that has missed some of that.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah, we're we're so we're so driven and focused and and and in a hurry. Yeah. And and unfortunately, I gotta say, this is something that we have seen around the world because this has proliferated, this sense of hurry. But um a lot of times our friends from the rest of the world uh teach us that unhurried pace of hospitality that that we need to embrace.

Coffee, Conversation, And Discipleship

SPEAKER_01 16:29

I I I'm I'm in such agreement, Norval, because I I'm really confronted the more I get the time and the opportunity to spend time with believers around the world. I see how much my culture has impacted my understanding of Christ. And that's not always bad, uh, but sometimes it does color it, it skews it, it it portrays it. And to be clear, Christ had an objective. He had, he, he had, he was here for a work to be done. God had him here on assignment, uh, and he was fulfilling that calling. And still, uh, he was quiet and would sit with the children, right? Uh he took a nap on a boat, uh, he he spent time faithfully with the father, uh, time away. He practiced Sabbath. He um he did all of these things that, again, at least in the West and in the states in particular, there's just this cultural antagonism to that kind of uh um Sabbath paste and Sabbath rest and sacred pace. And and if we're living in those spaces, I think we're better able to practice hospitality. But what I'd love to ask you, Norval, just quickly, uh, I'd like to think aloud with you, what do you think are like maybe three or four really practical practices that we could implement as Christian leaders? Because you know, it's not just about our personal, it is personal, but how do we help as leaders, how do we help develop a context where the people we lead can practice that kind of hospitality?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Well, first of all, it it is leadership by example. Um, and I think I think if there's if there are a few takeaways from what we talked about, is the first one is is a is a self-discipline to create space, to create that margin in your life to be hospitable. Um if if we don't have margin, like like you said, Jesus, Jesus had this margin where he could go pray, but he could also be interrupted. So he had this margin. Uh that's to me, that's the first. I think we the second lesson comes from your coffee maker. Create uh um a door, if you will, okay to relationships. Okay. So your coffee machine is a door, people can come in, have a latte, and that starts the conversation. Whatever it is for you, whatever it is for me. Create that door for people to come in. Um allow yourself to be interrupted. Yeah. Um, we are afraid of being interrupted, and we uh we treat interruptions as as a news.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

So I think you're right. I think it's it's having the sensitivity of heart and spirit to say, hey, wait a second. I have got to be uh looking to see if this interruption is from the Lord or if this is just a distraction.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Maybe the interruption is the plan. That's so true. So true. So it's it it takes discernment there.

Practical Practices For Leaders

SPEAKER_01 19:39

I also think practically, Norval, we have to give our teams, the people we lead, the freedom to see those moments. They have to they have to see it in our example, but I think they've got to see it in the way that we we encourage them, and they've probably got to hear it explicitly. Not every interruption is a distraction. Uh, there are moments where you're invited to practice hospitality. And that invitation is a good practice. I think one of the incredible things about the International Leadership Institute, we pray every day at 11 o'clock. We pray over our teams, we pray over trainings, we pray over personal needs. You know, we're we're covering in prayer the ministry and the people that we serve with in this movement, Norval. But I love the practice that we have of inviting people to join during that prayer time. Sometimes it's it's international leaders who come and join and they just share about what's going on in their nation or the church or the spread of the gospel in their context, their current prayer needs. Sometimes it's other ministries where we're just wanting to come alongside and pray over them and bless them and walk that that journey with them. But I think as as leaders, it's intentionality in providing those moments to say, hey, as an organization, this is what hospitality looks like for us. Um, because I think that, even within your organizational culture, can really help to shift uh the perspective a little.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Absolutely. It does remind me that as an organization, as an international office, we practice hospitality. After all, when one of these leaders who treat us like kings in their country comes to visit us, what can we do? We can't, we probably cannot top their over-the-top hospitality, but we can give them uh some. And that is something that builds a culture of hospitality in your whole, in, in the whole company or in the whole organization. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Well, and and I think, man, some of those practices could be could be just as well reflected anywhere else. Imagine if you're leading in a church, maybe, maybe you invite some of the other pastors in town to come so you can pray over them. Uh, if you're leading in a marketplace, maybe, maybe you and your leadership team keep the open opportunity to invest in other teams and organizations, keeping the doors open for invitation. Hey, if you want to see how we run things, come just take a look. We'd love to host you here, give you a sense of how we've structured. Not that we're perfect, but but so you've got some idea. You know, I I think it's those kinds of actions as leaders that I think it's those kinds of actions as leaders that we can take uh that can really help to develop a larger tone for the practice of hospitality in our Christian context.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Yes, sir. And uh it is a it is a biblical uh principle. It is a great thing to do. There's it it it is really fun to be to to welcome and and receive people and and entertain them and give them your best.

Building A Culture Of Welcome

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Well, and and and I think it's and it's great to remember too. It's fun, it's entertaining. But you know, I look back at that example when I stepped off the plane in South Asia, I felt the tension, I felt the pressure, I felt the loneliness, I felt the exhaustion, and then I saw someone expressing hospitality. And all of that melted, I felt at ease, and I felt the great, you know, brotherly embrace of a dear friend. Um, and suddenly my attitude shifted. And to know that we could have that influence and impact on somebody else's life. What a privilege. Man, what a privilege. Yeah, absolutely. Well, leader, uh, I don't know what your context is, and I don't know um really all of the details of your life, but I do know that what God's called us to do something, it's for our good, it's for his glory, and I think it's part of his larger redemptive plan. Listen, as leaders, we want to practice faithful hospitality. Uh, but with that, we want to live a whole life filled with Christ-like character. Here at the International Leadership Institute, we help leaders discover the eight core values of the most effective Christian leaders. Uh, if that's something that would be interesting to you or a resource that would help to grow you in this moment in your life and leadership, I want to encourage you to check out iliteam.org. You'll discover what those eight core values are, see some of the ways that you can get plugged into uh what's happening around the world, even find some ways that you can uh mobilize your church to partner financially to invest those same eight values in the lives of men and women in more than a hundred nations of the world. I think it's going to be a great resource for you and a wonderful place where you'll find some like minded Christian community. Uh, you'll want to check it out, iliteam.org. Thanks so much for joining us today.